Furry Family Member Gifts

"Bad dog."

"Are you; 'Obedient, fun-loving and loyal...with a liking for licking his testicles...?'"

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Foster failure

Dogs

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

Dogs Aren't/Are Just For Christmas

'We'll take it!'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"Hold my calls for a while, Wilson."

"He wants a second opinion."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

Hairy dog looks the same both ends.

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

'He's barking mad!'

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

"I think he may have progressed beyond just digging holes!!"

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

This is Roscoe, our first pooch

'Can't one eat in peace!'

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'He was a lousy watch dog until we realized he was near sighted.'

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."