Fermentation Fan Gifts

"Drinking? Who's drinking? I'm antioxidizing."

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

Wine: New and Old.

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Ralph has his own little microbrewery."

Yeast: Gregarious single-celled organism whose first evolutionary priority was to develop the capacity to synthesize alcohol. Usually well behaved, but can become rowdy in groups.

'I'm from down the street. Your customer ordered our wine because it is better than yours.'

Bottle Distillery

"Why yes, I am a professional grape stomper...why do you ask?"

"I wasn't sure if the wine was breathing, so I've been giving it mouth to mouth."

Man using to much bug spray

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"I don't do windows."

Yoyo sheep

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Photosynthesis? How lazy can you get?!

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

"Just the steak for me and my friend will have the carbon dioxide and the water with the sunlight."

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.