Fertilizer Fan Gifts

'The good times are over men - the bottoms fallen out of Guano!'

'Friends, I've followed the furrow and fertilized the fields - in short, I know farming!'

"What amazes me is that dad actually buys fertilizer!"

Man using to much bug spray

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

Bottle Distillery

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

The stuff of Legend.

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.