Fertilizer Fan Gifts

'The good times are over men - the bottoms fallen out of Guano!'

'Friends, I've followed the furrow and fertilized the fields - in short, I know farming!'

"What amazes me is that dad actually buys fertilizer!"

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

Man using to much bug spray

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Bottle Distillery

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

'Water cooler's really busy this time of day,'

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

The stuff of Legend.

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."