Feline Schemer Gifts

"Happy birthday to you..."

Cat in a tank...

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

The Upholstery Consultant

"It's a setup."

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

Valentine Comix

Dreaming pets.

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Boy standing on 'The Joy of Sex' book.

"I was thinking more of a leap-year wedding."

Cuckoo clock gotcha.

"May I have your attention? For Christmas, all I want is for everyone to write a note on how smart, charming and social I am. I'm collecting college reference letters before I enter my terrible teens."

A trap for Santa

Robert Macaire as a Matrimonial Agent

"I'm moving all the money from our rainy day account into a slush fund."

Agent with security case proposes to girlfriend with ring that has a tiny security case chained to it.

Cat Dreams

Fake it with Flowers.

'This oughta be good; I just panted sic of my best fleas in his chair.'

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."

"I post one thing about how de-clawing isn't that bad, and now the whole world hates me."

"Are there any security cameras in the basement?"

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

"Keep an eye on that Santa...I think he might be a damned headhunter!"

"Before I say yes, my dad, who is a notary, wants to ask you about your plans for our future."

"He binge watches TED talks about getting the upper hand with cats."

'Now THAT's what I call an innovative business plan!'