Feline Hijinks Gifts

'Something tells me Master is trying to teach us a lesson and we should stop eating his goldfish...'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"Projectile hairballing."

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Shhh – I'm taking a virtual nap.

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"GPS? In case we get lost? Why would we need that? We're microchipped."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"After she ran that clip of me getting a bath,... I posted this one of her stepping out of the shower."

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

'You know, if you cleaned the litter box more often, you wouldn't have to wear the hazmat suit.'

You're lucky - I wish mine was such a picky eater.

Great mouser!

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

Cat Nightmares

How to Feign Affection To Get Your Way.

Inky marks his territory the new and improved way.

Schrodinger's earlier experiment...

"Dear Diary, finished reading the novel, got a bit of weeding done, had 'The Big Conversation' with the wife… HA! Just kidding. Slept."

'I know how you love empty boxes.'

'Can you believe people actually believe this is a litter box?'

"Like heck I'm doing downward dog."

Kitty Litter

"What I want to eat? That's easy. Anything you don't have."

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"I don't care what they say...they don't really want you to think outside the box."