Feline Foe Humorist Gifts

'He's dreaming about something he likes...look at that tail go!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

Cat Reunion

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Scuba cow"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Cats at private view

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Dogs life

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.