Feedback Conqueror Gifts

'I don't like to be critical, but that's only because you don't take criticism well.'

Rage.

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

Second lifeReal life.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

'We like to find just the right slot for our people.'

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

Female chemotherapy warrior.

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"That's the Ommbudsman."

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

'Leave us your suggestions here.' (The suggestion box is a shredder)

"So many FANTASTIC applicants, where do we start!"

"I ran out of answers before she ran out of questions."

Computer Gamers.

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

E-mail

In Case of An Irresistable Urge to Break Something

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

"That's really bad. Tell your parents it's fake news."

"...And there has been a rapid decline in the number of complaints."