Comment Section Conqueror Gifts

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

Homo Gamus

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

Gamers

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."

'We like to find just the right slot for our people.'

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

"That's the Ommbudsman."

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"Please fill out these medical forms, which are identical to the ones you filled out earlier online, and have the exact same questions your doctor will ask you later in the exam room."

"Okay, Brian, it’s time to shut down your brain, quiet the anxious thoughts and begin to relax—just let it all go... and take a Valium."

E-mail

"I ran out of answers before she ran out of questions."

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'I wanna get out of the rat race, spend more time with the kids and finally nail them at monopoly.'

"That's really bad. Tell your parents it's fake news."

'I don't like to be critical, but that's only because you don't take criticism well.'

"...And there has been a rapid decline in the number of complaints."

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'

"Thanks for the interview. And, you're definitely on my shortlist."

"I know not the exact day nor hour of the second coming...or twenty four other world events."

"Who do I complain to about your complaint department?"

"As you can see, I was able to answer all the questions without getting bogged down in perfection."

"These IT guys are really intimidating I mean just look at the focus the concentration...I wonder what he's working on?"

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"

"My new time machine is also fantastic if I want to take back a move."

'Our product flooded the market...before backing up in a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"The slave Spartacus has picked this week's lottery numbers!"