Fear-fighting Humorists Gifts

'This next bit might hurt just a teenie-weenie bit...'

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

Curse my curiosity and four stomachs!

Brian the dog#3 - Brian now realised he was NOT man's best friend.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

"Well, we got the grant."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

My Folks, dressed up like Eskimos

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Transylvanian Snails.

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

Superhero with Acrophobia

Newton discovers surrealism

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Gender Reveal

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

'I'm organic.'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

"Edgar, I'm talking to you! For goodness sake, has the cat got your tongue?"

'This is a first Mr Cowbird. You've contracted mad cow disase and the bird flu!'

Robot porn.

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

Eggs That Were Anagarms In Past Lives -'Unscramble Me'.

Busking Elephant