Humor In Fear Gifts

"You didn't believe her when she said there was a giant spider in the bathtub, did you?"

British savings accounts

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Our super-heroes bravely battling a brutally blustery day!

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

Agoraphobic Explorer

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Stop complaining. We can't afford business class any more.'

Pray it Don't Spry it.

Mime in an Emergency Ward at Hospital

Room 101 Tax Inspection

Shoveling Snow

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

"Well, the MRI confirms it: you have a shy bladder."

Anger Management Seminar.

"I must warn you that the house is haunted but the ghost are mostly interested in doing sexy ceramics."

'Bill got sacked, sleeps on a park bend and eats dog food. He's the most motivational speaker we've ever had.'

'He's the laziest dog I've ever seen.'

The poop scooper maid.

'So, what's it like to lick a light socket, Mr. Safety?'

Maximum Insecurity Prison

A man's head disappears into his torso, replaced by a sign that reads: Next Showing 1:00

'Then again, it probably wasn't that bad. I do tend to exaggerate.'

'This next bit might hurt just a teenie-weenie bit...'

"Let me put it this way - I wouldn't buy any bananas that are too green."

"Do you really believe, Gerald?"

How's my absolution! (800)-HAIL MARY

It's a wonderful death

'Come, come, Mr Walker...it's only an inspection.'

Now I have two types of free-floating anxiety!

'Was that you who screamed?' - 'No, the dentist.'

"And keep your toes covered! If you don't el cucuy will eat them! Good night!"

'This divorce is so bitter I hope he wants it so bad he can taste it.'