Faux Pas Critic Pillows

Typical 'Faux pas Four'.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

The Return Of The Minipants

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"Pardon my glove."

Fifty Gallon Head.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

"Man's best friend with benefits"

"What? I slept seven months."

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"I won't go near one of those driver-less things until they iron out the bugs."

Silicon Valley Bank fails, who else?

"First, your tattoo is misspelled and second, everyone hates Comic Sans."

Don't walk while cross.

The Decafé

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

"You've got the job, but you've got to change your clothes."

'We'd like to take it for a test drive.'

'You are a fool...I said 'Why don't you wear a BANDANA!'

'Admit it - you've been worried since you were flashed by that speed camera...'

'My God, Edward †not a tweed BATHING SUIT!'

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."

'Whoever said 'dressed to kill' hasn't seen your average murderer.'

Cargo briefs

"Comic sans? I wouldn't rescue us."