Faux Pas Aficionado Pillows

"Pardon my glove."

'Pleased to meet you.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

The Return Of The Minipants

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

'Ok - I'm reaching out!'

Emmanuel Macron and Angela Merkel.

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

Br... No Exit

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Adult Absence Notes.

Maastricht - "Looks like a storm coming."

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"Regarding Brexit and the border with Northern Ireland, we will build a wall..."

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

Senor Bean or Mr. Zapatero, I presume?

Sisyphus

Fifty Gallon Head.

"I only hope we're distrusted in a specific and limited way."

'He was a great player...he gained 'many cap's' for his Country !'

David Cameron's Diplomatic Marathon

Brown: You say 'government' but I say 'governance'...

"What? I slept seven months."

"He loves me!"