Fast Food Humorists Pillows

"I see you being part of someones bucket list. . .Do you know a 'Colonel Sanders?'"

Lesser known greek gods,

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Dolphin friendly tuna

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

A Club Sandwitch.

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Garlic Free Zone.

I'm freshwater. Make it a margarita without salt.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Cat eats date.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'