Fast Food Humorists Gifts

"I see you being part of someones bucket list. . .Do you know a 'Colonel Sanders?'"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Lesser known greek gods,

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Dolphin friendly tuna

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

A Club Sandwitch.

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Cat eats date.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'