Farming Innovator Gifts

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"I'm sorry I bumped you, honey. Hello, tech support, I have a farmer in the Dell!"

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

Ready, Steady, genetically Modify.

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

"He's a quick learner."

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

The sheep are much easier to keep track of now. They spend all day watching clips on Ewe Tube!

Dept. de Philosophie

Old MacDonald had a startup.

A Protractor.

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'This computerized herd management is getting out of control.'

You just plant the seed, water it, and when it grows, you eat it --- I call it "agribusiness."

I lactate, therefore I am.

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Learning.

Farmer using a photo editing program

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

'Seeing the Winterton's Japanese garden gave us the idea. It's a Kamikaze replica. Full size.'

'I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message after the peep.'

Where steel wool comes from.

It's a little known fact that Einstein quit science and went into the cattle business.

This one needs re-booting!

'We had the window box paved over, too, for Little Tim's cars.'

"it has 256 ringtones and I can download more."

"Farmers are always complaining about the amount of paperwork that Europe generates...but if you use your imagination then you can turn it to your advantage!"

'Yep!.... My truck runs completely on methane now!'

Modern Shepherding

"I'm taking out two acres of pecan trees and putting in a fifteen-thousand-square-foot colonic-irrigation facility."