Crop Innovator Gifts

'Well Miss Pearson, this flood resistant GM Maize you've developed is pure genius. Giving it gills was a masterstroke'

Ready, Steady, genetically Modify.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

"He's a quick learner."

'Sure, beekeepers bees' pollinate billions of dollars worth of crops every year, but what's their firepower?'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

"We're making progress."

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

'Will it thrive on light from a TV?'

A Protractor.

'Well, when can I have my bike back?'

"Gonna be a good crop this year."

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

"All we've come up with so far is that new meatloaf."

'Seeing the Winterton's Japanese garden gave us the idea. It's a Kamikaze replica. Full size.'

You just plant the seed, water it, and when it grows, you eat it --- I call it "agribusiness."

'Why don't you try to think outside of the trough once in a while?'

"Do you remember when all we had to worry about was growing stuff?"

Monsanto experiment

"Farmers are always complaining about the amount of paperwork that Europe generates...but if you use your imagination then you can turn it to your advantage!"

'We had the window box paved over, too, for Little Tim's cars.'

Crop Walk.

Hey, those are not menus!

'So what's all this I hear about you installing an interesting water feature in your garden?'

false perspective in the garden (based on M C Escher)

Hair Raising

"I don't care what mom calls them. I've never heard of a McBrussels Sprout before."