Farming Genius T-Shirts

Farmer with a big brain.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

Sale! Weed Whackers

A sure sign of rain

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

Agricultural Psychology

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"I'm sorry I bumped you, honey. Hello, tech support, I have a farmer in the Dell!"

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

Need I say, timing and accuracy are imperative?!

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

Farmer's credit.

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

Ab Lawson's Genetic Engineering Farm

'Nobody move. I just dropped a contact lens.'

Gardener of the Year.

"No need to be embarrassed. Eventually we all need a lanolin supplement."

'I'm pretty sure this means the price has finally hit bottom.'

Dept. de Philosophie

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

Old MacDonald had a startup.

A Protractor.

'Of course the Smiths have more than we do. His wife works.'

"Grandpa, if I ever decide to get involved in farming, it will be strictly as a commodities broker."

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."

'This computerized herd management is getting out of control.'