Farming Genius Gifts

Farmer with a big brain.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

A sure sign of rain

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

Agricultural Psychology

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

"I'm sorry I bumped you, honey. Hello, tech support, I have a farmer in the Dell!"

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

Need I say, timing and accuracy are imperative?!

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

Farmer's credit.

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

The sheep are much easier to keep track of now. They spend all day watching clips on Ewe Tube!

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

"No need to be embarrassed. Eventually we all need a lanolin supplement."

Ab Lawson's Genetic Engineering Farm

Gardener of the Year.

'I'm pretty sure this means the price has finally hit bottom.'

Dept. de Philosophie

'Nobody move. I just dropped a contact lens.'

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

Old MacDonald had a startup.

A Protractor.

'Of course the Smiths have more than we do. His wife works.'

"Grandpa, if I ever decide to get involved in farming, it will be strictly as a commodities broker."

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."