Farm Sound Fan Gifts

"He loves country music."

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

Yoyo sheep

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

Waking Up With Rooster.

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

The Scenic Route