Musical Farm Fan Gifts

Dawn Chorus.

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

'I was up for a part in the Producers...'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

'It's the cows. They can't get past a cattle guard.'

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

Farmacy - 'I can't read your doctor's chicken scratch. I'm sure the pharmacist can, though.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

Scotsman Playing Cow Bagpipes.

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'

So? You snort when you laugh, too.

The Rural Bidet...

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'