Farewell Party Gifts

"I've been trying to sack Jenkins, but I can't find him."

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'And, lastly, I'd like to thank Chuck for his years of service. He'll be leaving the company next month to spend more time with his cash and cash equivalents.'

"Looks like they're headed off the grid!"

'The alpha male decided I need to go find another herd.'

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

'It was a parting gift when I was given subjective redundancy.'

'Well at least they afforded me the courtesy of not using email,'

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

"In this company we don't just appreciate our workers. We celebrate them from their first until their last day, which as you might have noticed for you has come today."

'You're fired. The test results came back and you tested positive for crack.'

'I'm spending our Home Improvement Grant on a leaving party for you.'

"That was fun—Now you're rehired."

'Sorry, Tantor -- we're downsizing.'

Best Scapegoat

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'I don't do goodbyes..'

Waiting for home time

'My goal is to be a failure and accept a colossal golden parachute.'

'I was sorry to hear that you'll be leaving us next week, Higgins...I was hoping it was this week.'

'What's your return policy?'

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

'I'm retiring tomorrow. . . do you have any 'So Long, Suckers' cards?'

'I'm collecting for Linda in accounting. She won the lottery and is leaving.'

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm very disappointed in the severance package."

"He said, 'Hayward, you've given us twenty-seven years of loyal, dedicated service, and I hate to have to let you go.' Then he fell out the window."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Do Not Resuscitate

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Evolution Exam Results.

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'