Fans Pillows

'I'm making enquiries following the assault on an electric fan salesman, outside this property.'

'Well you said you were hot, so should I turn the fan on or not?'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'Filby, we've decided to accept your suggestion for air conditioning!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Uptight End"

Currently Boston

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Archaeologists discover a football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"Young Billy play lak he on fire tonite!"

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"Well, we got the grant."

Happy birthday Darling!

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'It's a new medication I'm working on, but the side effects are monsterous.'

Red Card - Gold Card.

Referee cop.

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

Football Violence

"Go deep!"

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'