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'I'm making enquiries following the assault on an electric fan salesman, outside this property.'

When the temperature soars, I lug out this big, weighty thing. Pant pant. Ugh! then I louldy play some songs from Metallica and Iron Maiden. It's heavy metal fan.

Bowled over again!

'Well you said you were hot, so should I turn the fan on or not?'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'Filby, we've decided to accept your suggestion for air conditioning!'

The Statue of Liberty: A Journey Fan

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

Currently Boston

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Archaeologists discover a football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"Well, we got the grant."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Happy birthday Darling!

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

"Young Billy play lak he on fire tonite!"

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Touchdown!'

'It's a new medication I'm working on, but the side effects are monsterous.'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"Go deep!"

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

Football Violence

Red Card - Gold Card.

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'