Fans Of Monarchical Humor Gifts

We've got to do something about this terrible drought - I want you to all go home and wash your cars.

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"It's time to get politics out of money."

In my day, they didn

'Miss Chambers, requisition me some more clout.'

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

Make your own bottled water.

Privatization and Deregulation are the gas in the engine of the economy.

"Stan is one of our great, widely unread literary treasures."

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

"My majesty!....Hm....I like the sound of that!"

"Hey, that's what everyone thinks about the strategic planning department! I've got a crystal ball and we all study the occult! Hah Hah Hah!..."

"Owww!! Yes, that hurts!"

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

"I seriously doubt that's going to count."

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

The City of Eden…in Fact - Martin Outside the 'Office' of Chuzzlewit & Co

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

"And this little hybrid beauty runs on either gas or liposuction fat."

"Oh. . . and this one, Jerimiah 19.9 'And I will make them eat the flesh or their sons and daughters'."

'C'mon the one with the frilly knickers!'

Koko's little list

'Having a lot of underlings doesn't make you an overling!'

Updated Classic: The Waistland

Print Media

Type that up, make ten million copies and then shred them.

Donkey reads 'Leadership Secrets of Lions'.

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

Entering Shangri-La - Pollution Alert Level: Severe, Jobless Rate:50%, Flood Danger: High, Radioactivity Level: Extreme, Road Conditions: Dangerous.

'I'm thinking of flipping this house.'

'The 12 Habits of People Just Barely Holding Their Own.'

"Frankly, I find it quite insulting that we're often likened to dodgy bankers!"