Fandom Analyst Gifts

"Ha, Fanboys are imploding over Doctor Who being a woman."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Church for sports worshipers.

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

Science fiction fans on other planets

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

A woman watches football on her computer.

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

The commentators want to run the officials...

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

I am your BIGGEST fan!

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

"I didn't mean anything by it. I don't know why I said it. I just said it, that's all. Twiggy."

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"Kanye's changing his name. I'm thinking he should go by Cra Z."

"I'm sorry your team lost - perhaps you should have rooted for the other team."

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

"Do you think my followers will mind of 'Martin's Theory of Everything' ends after just three installments?"

He said nothing about being cremated before his remains were scattered on the pitch.