Fancy Food Fan T-Shirts

"Is the garbage fresh?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Kitchen Kapers

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

Before/After

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Benihana style of cooking.

Important Food Groups

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Streets - Night

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

Burnt or Raw?

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Regular service or affected?"

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.