Fancy Food Fans T-Shirts

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Kitchen Kapers

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Benihana style of cooking.

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

Important Food Groups

The Streets - Night

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

This Year's Spa

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

"Is the garbage fresh?"