Fancy Food T-Shirts

Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Balsamic Vinegar, Veal Stock

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Dog Dressed to Eat

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"Regular service or affected?"

Purple dress

"Is the garbage fresh?"

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'We let our products speak for themselves. This is ‘I Can't Believe It's So Tasty And Price-Friendly In Today's Demanding Market.' '

"He's my escort, and he's a teddy bear."

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

"Will the gentleman want the saumon poché with or without his initials?"

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

The wine speaks for itself

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

"Oh, for God's sake, Harold, please close your mouth when you chew your food! This is a fancy restaurant."

"And the special tonight is...some kind of unpronounceable, convoluted, uncommon and rather bizarre green or other..."

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

"Lager!"

'Of course I care for you. You're the most expensive woman in my life.'

"I'll have the business prodigy's lunch."

Young Professional Recipe Test

'I am sorry, sir, but zee facilities are for zee paying customers only.'

"What's your surf and turf today?"

"I'm afraid we're closed. The lobsters escaped and killed the chef."

Peacock with feathers reading 'Posh picnic'

'Congratulations, Martha. This is a meal fit for a king.'