Fancy Feast Fanatic Pillows

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

'Congratulations, Martha. This is a meal fit for a king.'

Prize vegetables.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Church Basement Foodie

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"Regular service or affected?"

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Is the garbage fresh?"

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

'And that,and that,and that...'

A Christmas tree self portrait

The other days of the year...

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

Great Moment in North Pole History

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'