Fancy Feast Fakery Fan Pillows

We'll pass on the entrees...

Prize vegetables.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

"Regular service or affected?"

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Is the garbage fresh?"

Champagne at the hunt

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

"Separate checks, please."

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

'Someplace where we just eat, eat, eat!'

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

'For heaven's sake, Armitage... Can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category??'

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

Everybody is having a great time! I'm more than just the party host --- I'm the master of my fete!

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

"And the special tonight is...some kind of unpronounceable, convoluted, uncommon and rather bizarre green or other..."

Suicide by overeating.

Turkey Black Fridays.

'It better be good - we only eat once a month.'

'Well, once it's won the prize for Biggest Marrow I shall expect you to replace my fence!'

'Care to join me in a tuna casserole?'

The lifecycle of thanksgiving leftovers