Fancy Dining Aficionado T-Shirts

Grim reaper putting on a dinner jacket in order to go into a fancy restaurant where jackets are required

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Dog Dressed to Eat

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"How's the salmon?"

"Regular service or affected?"

"Expense account or regular?"

"Room for dessert, folks?"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."