Fancy Dining Aficionado T-Shirts

Grim reaper putting on a dinner jacket in order to go into a fancy restaurant where jackets are required

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Expense account or regular?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"How's the salmon?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"Regular service or affected?"

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'