Fan Of Absurd Settings Gifts

"How many times must I tell you? It's not hello; it's just hell."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Pastry Hat

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Now you can send it."

A private jet takes off

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Baseball.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

UFO and snowman

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

Magnet at scrapyard

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

Chick Billiard Ball

Trapeze artists commuting

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

The Hypnotato,

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

The Bonvoy Age...