Lover Of Absurd Scenarios Gifts

'Where did you last see your club?'

ATM.

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Extreme Sisyphus

"Now you can send it."

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

"We have a favor to ask."

UFO and snowman

Operation.

Baseball.

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

"It's marzipan pigs."

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

PODs Venn Diagram

Trapeze artists commuting

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

The Bonvoy Age...