Lover Of Absurd Scenarios Gifts

'Where did you last see your club?'

ATM.

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Extreme Sisyphus

"Now you can send it."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

UFO and snowman

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Operation.

Baseball.

"We have a favor to ask."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"It's marzipan pigs."

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

PODs Venn Diagram

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

Trapeze artists commuting