Fan Fiction Enthusiast Gifts

My new year's resolution is to write a best-selling novel. Did you know "50 Shades of Grey" started out as fan fiction about that vampire book "Twilight"? I just need to repeat that formula: write fan fiction about a popular book and then just change all the names when I'm done. That way, my book will appeal to that same audience and they won't even know why. Which "popular book" are you going to write fan fiction about? "50 Shades of Grey." Only I'll change the names to "Bella" and "Edward," an

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

J. R. R. Tolkien

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'I've no time for these foragers - they come into the area and snap up all the best houses...'

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

"Devi's brew?"

Hansel and Gretal

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

Mermaids in love

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

"Relax, I'll go back and find it."

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

Going Down?

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

Gulliver's other travels.

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

'Well this is awkward.'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

I'm ridiculously small. My nose is huge. I have ears like a jackass... Manic depressive with low elf esteem.