Family With A Dog Gifts

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'Marmaduke always remembers who gives him treats.'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Super Dog'

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

'They're dog roses!'

"Don't even think about it."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Chasebook

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

'We'll take it!'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

Dog History

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

"This is Dakota, Bodie and Scout—And our dog, Richard."

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"Fetch! What about a please?"

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

'We don't do tricks.. because then they'll begin to expect it.'

'Vet clinic? I'd like to make an appointment for a physical. It's been seven years.'