Family Trip Planners T-Shirts

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

Kids calling from back of SUV

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

"He didn't do anything, Gregory. This is a zoo"

'He's bound to wake up sometime!'

'Mom, Dad just got a nibble.'

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

'I mean...'

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

'Are we there yet?'

Columbus discovers ...that when exploring, it's not such a great idea to bring the family along.

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

"I normally scream and cry on car rides, but I'm saving it all up for when we get on our flight"

"Mom said never use that dirty 4-letter word on vacation...DIET."

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

'This is almost as good as 'Sea World'.'

"Don't worry, darling! I've set something up so the kids don't get bored on the trip."

Satellite Navigation for children - "How many more miles is it?"

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"Have you packed everything into your smartphone?"

"Why do I need a bus licence? Well, I have a rather large family, you see..."

Last Reception for 200 Miles.

"You can still go over the river and through the woods, but it's cheaper to fly."

'Are we there yet?!'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

'Come along, child. Your father is not feeling outdoorsy today.'

'When the airport said they were booking us on a different flight, I thouoght we'd still be going to Albuquerque!'

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."