Family Tree Analyst Pillows

"Well he researched his family tree and discovered he was the dead wood."

Family DNA

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

"He's feeling neglected. Should we text him?"

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

'They sort of grow on you.'

"Don't fight us, Timmy. We have numerical superiority."

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

Writing the generations/Bring characters to life.

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

"She's one of those bad mothers who say they're bad mothers but think they're good mothers."

"Oh no, not dinner again!"

Man at desk researching through papers.

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

"I don't know what's worse - my helicopter mom or her drone."

Evolution explained.

'Motherly radar, we've know about. Now we suspect motherly in-home surveillance cameras.'

Related

"What's it like to have sexually active parents?"

"I traced my family tree. This is it."