Family Tree Enthusiasts Pillows

"Oh look, he has his Mother's eyes."

Einstein's Theory of Relativity

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

Several generations live together in Cuba

Family DNA

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"That's two days after you were born."

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

Ancenstry.com Your results: Oak: 80% Pine: 12% Maple: 3% Unknown: 5%

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

"Dad, are you absolutely sure I'm not adopted?"

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

"That is why you never forget your roots."

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Maternity nurse presenting newborn baby with big nose to father with big nose.

Who's your daddy?, INC. It