Family Tree Enthusiast Pillows

'Neo-extended family'

Man at desk researching through papers.

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'I started a family tree too, but I gave it up fairly quickly: Way too many relatives...'

Family DNA

'Testing, testing, once upon a time, testing...'

"And this was the man I thought was your father until E-Z Pass records proved that he was in New Jersey when you were conceived."

"Our ancestors used all the hair genes."

"And these are my ancestors. . . Malcom. The mighty, Simon the Strong, Byron the Brave. . . And Fenwick the Flatulent . . . We don't talk about him much!"

"Don't bother wasting your money on DNA testing. The results all come back, 'Ape.'"

Related

"I'm an amphibian on my mother's side and a reptile on my father's side."

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

"Howard is my second husband once removed."

"You're the hardest client we've ever had."

'Why shouldn't I be obsessive compulsive? My mother is obsessive and my father is compulsive.'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"First, I want you to cut way back on the Ancestry.com."

Several generations live together in Cuba

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

"One day you can participate in Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day as a parent."

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

'One of my forebears.'

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

"That's two days after you were born."