Family Tree Analyst Gifts

"Well he researched his family tree and discovered he was the dead wood."

Family DNA

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"Just because your mother devoured your siblings and not you didn't mean she valued you any less. She was just full."

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

"He's feeling neglected. Should we text him?"

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

'They sort of grow on you.'

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

Writing the generations/Bring characters to life.

"She's one of those bad mothers who say they're bad mothers but think they're good mothers."

"Don't fight us, Timmy. We have numerical superiority."

Who's your daddy?, INC. It

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

"Oh no, not dinner again!"

Man at desk researching through papers.

"Albert Morris? But I've spent the last six months researching Alberta Morris?!"

"Tia Carmen, are we related to Luis and Walter Alvarez?"

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

"I don't know what's worse - my helicopter mom or her drone."

Evolution explained.

"I traced my family tree. This is it."

"What's it like to have sexually active parents?"

'Motherly radar, we've know about. Now we suspect motherly in-home surveillance cameras.'