Family Tradition Analyst Pillows

'This represents the tradition of our family business. I got it from my dad, he got it from his dad. One day, son, it will be yours.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

'Okay, okay - is there anyone OTHER that the bride's mother who objects to this marriage?'

"One day you can participate in Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day as a parent."

"You work for the family business, and I am your father, not the patriarchal oppressor..."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

"My dad was really good at showing me how to throw poo. He was just never any good at explaining exactly why I should be throwing it."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

"He's feeling neglected. Should we text him?"

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

'Are you on any medication other than your Grandma's chicken soup?'

"It was our grandmother's wedding dress—we had her exhumed so you could wear it."

"I don't want to be a king like Dad - I want to be a pirate like Grandpa!"

'They sort of grow on you.'

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

"When I moved here after your mother passed... The first thing I did was make this altar...so I could pray for her. But your father said, 'Just no photos.'"

'You rejected my great grandfather and my father. I demand you recuse yourself!'

"Don't fight us, Timmy. We have numerical superiority."

"Typical, you knew my mother was coming today, so you had to have a big meal to be torpid for a few days!"

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

"She's one of those bad mothers who say they're bad mothers but think they're good mothers."