Family Therapy Gifts

'We are communicating better but we are still not out of woods.'

"I'll stop whining when you stop nagging."

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

"Quit blaming your mother. And get your feet off the couch."

'You couldn't just lock him up somewhere, could you?'

Interpreters.

"Frankly,he's still tied to his fathers apron strings."

Interpreter.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Here we are."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Postwar is hell."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

The trauma of losing.

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'