Family Counseling Gifts

Common Core Family Therapy

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

Licensed Therapist

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"You've changed."

Relationship Warning Lights

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Try Mediation

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"