Family Therapist Gifts

"Mr. Wickers called me 'gifted' in front of the whole class. I'm ruined."

'We've never had an accident - aside from three of our five kids.'

'Actually we get along very well, it's the kids we can't stand.'

"Look, we might have our little tiffs, but I think we should stay together for the sake of the children."

"For better or for worse, from pre-nuptial contract to no-fault divorce..."

Dysfunctional Family Tree.

Family therapy clinic - Joke do jour: What's the difference between an inlaw and an outlaw? An outlaw is always wanted."

'Sorry about the mess, my parents had a fight last night.'

'It's a done deal...she keeps the cave and the kids...you get the wheels.'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Now, this is how you record your dramas while your husband watches football..."

Divorce Negotiations: "Loser takes the kids, heads or tails?"

"Your wife gets the kids. . . and you get custody of the mortgage."

Interpreter.

Two people shouting.

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

"It's through our attorneys, but at least we're talking."

Home Sweet Home

Training a Child to Avoid Greed

I told my mom about my imaginary friend and now she wants to schedule all my play dates.

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'