Family Therapist Aficionado Gifts

"You're about to discover why I left home at 15."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Licensed Therapist

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Couples' therapy

X-ray Psychology.

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'We have three minutes left.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy