Family Therapist Aficionado Gifts

"You're about to discover why I left home at 15."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Couples' therapy

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

X-ray Psychology.

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'We have three minutes left.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy