Family Name Enthusiast Gifts

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Naming that Impala

Tom Cruise

Family sitting on sofa.

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"Sinead?!"

'I know you can make this project go. That's why I call you 'The Magic Motor'.'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

'He looks a bit like both of you.'

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

"Mum, just curious: when you did the family tree, did you research all the way back to our ancestors on Noah's ark?"

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

Mr Long and Miss Short.

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

Maternity nurse presenting newborn baby with big nose to father with big nose.

Changing house name.