Family Humor Seeker Pillows

'How can I ever perfect my aim if you won't let me practice?'

'Actually I am having a happy childhood, except, of course, for my unhappy allowance.'

'For heavens sake Gordon, just get in, you're embarrassing us.'

"Daddy!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Suffering from Cooties?

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Dad Trophies

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"How many times have I told you kids to hang your coats in the closet?"

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

The Family Joules: Part 5

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."