Family Humor Seeker Pillows

'How can I ever perfect my aim if you won't let me practice?'

'Actually I am having a happy childhood, except, of course, for my unhappy allowance.'

'For heavens sake Gordon, just get in, you're embarrassing us.'

"Daddy!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

Suffering from Cooties?

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

Dad Trophies

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"