Family Hilarity Seeker Pillows

'Dogs love kids because our faces are always within licking reach.'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

The Family Joules: Part 5

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

'His dad was!'

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

Mummy?!

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

Honey, I'm home. Did you change Kyle's diaper?

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'He didn't learn that from me!'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

"Put it on my tab."

Is your homework finished? It's almost a snow day. No way

How Moms explain.

'Actually both my kids are twins...'

Adult Absence Notes.

'Of course the tooth fairy never came. Those were your Grandma's false teeth you put under your pillow.'