Family Hilarity Seeker T-Shirts

'Dogs love kids because our faces are always within licking reach.'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

'His dad was!'

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Mummy?!

'He didn't learn that from me!'

"Put it on my tab."

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

'He's got your mother's teeth.'

'Of course the tooth fairy never came. Those were your Grandma's false teeth you put under your pillow.'

Adult Absence Notes.

'Actually both my kids are twins...'