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Social media family vs regular family

"Listen, son. Don't worry if you don't win. I'll be absolutely fine coping with the huge feeling of disappointment."

"Theo is upset that his name isn't more precious."

"Daddy, drop me off a block before the village."

'Whatever Dad: I don't give a hoot!'

Rubberband Family Vacation

'Alice, you're not wearing the bat ears I made you int he tub, are you?'

Grandparents' 3-Legged Race.

'Where shall I put him mum?'

'Dad, what's an Eunuch?'

"For me, tears alone don't work: I have to throw a tantrum as well to get some attention..."

Feeding the baby

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"Mom feeds you the other way round? Come on, worms are worms. Now open your beaks, you brats!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Suffering from Cooties?

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Dad Trophies

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'